I Still Miss You

There’s a place still here for you. An empty chair at the dinner table no one else fills the way you did. It’s a constant reminder of you being gone. And it wasn’t deliberate that I left this space unfilled. More like something that just happened. And I lie still at night and think of you from time to time. Siri echos I’m here in the night. I spy lost coins, head side up, and times on the clock that mean nothing and everything. These things alert me to either your presence or an ever growing pain that continues to exist and has now evolved into untrue realities I need to believe. And when I feel you’ve gone too far out of reach I go back to the places we last convened. Some days I’m mad as hell and on others jealous you’ve found a way out. I often wonder if you see my sorry and conflict and hover nearby or sit with me. And they will never know what it is they think they understand. What it’s like to share a soul. I should be over you by now. I should be stronger today somehow. But I never learned the way to let go. No one told me how to move on. No one mentioned this empty place you’ve left would remain a present part of my reality. A broken piece of what was once me. My forever reality. This place you’ve left empty for all to see. This emptiness that now consumes me.